All of a sudden it's what I'm NOT doing that matters more.
lie to me,
make me feel forever.
all i need is one night.
dreams so real,
and so i wait, ache,
i could really be a bitch and fuck with someone's life.
keep it in mind to reason away.
days of doing nothing
to think up something to say.
If years between us didn't exist
And time stood still,
If all I had to do was submit,
Would you claim me as real
Or just imagined?
Would my thoughts become your words
Or would my eyes become your windows?
I Could Break You.
Brought to bear the greatest love, I carry a burden and a blessing.
Scene: In Angel Square, Destiny stands in the middle of a thick fog. Behind her a familiar figure. She feels his presence, hears his voice. She can't see him, but he can see her. At first unaware of where she is, a sense of familiarity overcomes her, she smiles and starts to speak to the air in front of her. The presences follows her as she paces around.
Last day at my job today.
Not sure how I feel about it.
At this point I should be super excited. A new adventure! Still I'm conflicted.
Its all said and done. No going back, as my boss said to me when I left.
I knew what he meant. He knows only part of the reason why I'm leaving.
Truth be told I felt unappreciated. taken advantage of, I hated working with one particular person, I hated that my manager was leaving for the whole month of July and that I couldn't take time off. I hated being an assistant. I hated having to be at work at 8:00 am and that I couldn't see my daughter before she went to school. I hated having 1/2 hour for lunch. I hated the money I was making.
Okay, saying those things makes me glad that I left.
i have this picture in my head that you'll grab me by the hair and smash my face into the dashboard.
are you afraid to fall -
to fall like me?
you leave me confused -
you want me, then you don't.
learning and trying everyday,
wearing my patience proud,
but how long will that last?
i'm up and down.
i could break, explode
and you'd never know.
CAN"T YOU FUCKING SEE?!
how i bleed and you laugh?
hand you my heart and you turn away?
i'm the joke that you don't get.
like the damned - i can't be saved.
and now it's all we are:
an act, a fucking act, a stupid joke.
still, what's mine reveals the truth,
but to you, truth is concealed.
and who am i? don't you know?
only the damned - praying to be saved.
Nothing special doing this holiday
Just spending time with family,
Eating good food and visiting friends.
Trying to smile, but it's awkward somehow,
As my mind is focused on others:
Those less fortunate than myself,
Those fighting and dying for freedom,
Those with whom I was angry,
Those I've forgotten to call back,
And those celebrating for the last time.
Mistakes were made and hurtful things were said.
I'll say "I'm sorry" now, but who really cares, anyway?
Mixed with all my saddness, though,
Are promises for a better next year.
Maybe listening to my favorite holiday tunes will brighten up my day. Please share your favorites with me!
Christmas Wrapping - The Waitresses
Christmas in Holis - Run DMC
Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) - U2
Fairytale of New York - The Pogues with Kirsty McColl
All I Want For Christmas Is You - Olivia Olson (from movie Love, Actually)
Last Christmas - WHAM!
Do They Know It's Christmas - Band Aid
War Is Over - John Lennon
go ahead, mother, do it again,
twist my words to your advantage.
it's all about you anyway, isn't it?
so i haven't called, is that a crime?
oh, i forgot how sensitive you are.
how you always make it about you.
did it ever occur that i might be happier?
you see me once a week, say i look good.
don't you ever wonder why that is?
you're not there to cut me down,
make me feel ashamed, unworthy.
you're not there to make me feel guilty
for things i never had power over.
what do you mean you don't remember?
did that prozac erase your memories?
funny, those pills certainly didn't cure you.
what the fuck do you want me to do?
be there to absorb your pain?
i get it, i get it, i get it all now.
you love misery just for sympathy.
dad says "you know how she is."
yeah, all to well, i'm afraid. all too well.
i've never bragged, never gloated
my eyes gazed toward the ground.
it seems you liked me better that way.
but now my head is starting to rise.
no, mother, this time it's about me.
i'm taking charge of my life finally!
your pain has no hold over me anymore.
so go ahead, bitch, fucking do it again!
twist these words, make them your own.
because i don't give a shit.