Searching the silence for a smile I remember...

...wishing on stars that you were here.


nothing special
Souxie says...
mywastedemotion
Still it's nice to dream
to think you're there,
waiting for me
In the distance,
where you'll always be.

nothing special
Souxie says...
mywastedemotion

I'll fetch
And bring it back.
I love you.
but you know that...

See how far I can run?


nothing special
Souxie says...
mywastedemotion

I don't like to be found.
Or heard, or seen,
Whatever in between....
I'm happy just to be
Nobody it seems.


nothing special
Souxie says...
mywastedemotion

must be throwing off some bitch vibe. just a feeling. why else would people ignore me?

 


nothing special
Souxie says...
mywastedemotion

I live with no expectations.

 

Tags:

from anywhere
Souxie says...
mywastedemotion

it can come from anywhere, a comment, a news article, a scene from a movie. something that triggers the bad memories and brings back the insecurities... and is followed by a flood of tears.
 
I should be over this. fuck life. fuck junior high. fuck those fuckers.

 

Tags:

it was better this way
Souxie says...
mywastedemotion

holding on to a past
that wasn't my own.
that's all it was,
so I let it go.

 

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

 


Tags:

nothing special
Souxie says...
mywastedemotion

if I could write the story, would it satisfy
my desire?

 


remember...
Souxie says...
mywastedemotion

Think before I do and think some more before I "send."

Tags:

sometimes...
Souxie says...
mywastedemotion

sometimes i make my heart feel broken. i see what i see and i weep. :'(


nothing special
Souxie says...
mywastedemotion
I want something more, but this is just shit. and it's creeping me out.

when...
Souxie says...
mywastedemotion

when someone obviously smaller than you says to you "i have 20 lbs to go to reach my goal." what is that, size 0? i know i'm fat, but shit... i must look like more of a whale than i realized. 


i see what you see
Souxie says...
mywastedemotion

i see what you see,
but that will never be me.
time just never stood still.


I.D.I.O.T.
jon/
mywastedemotion
You know when, like, you're looking for something and, like, the first thing you find you say, no, that can't be it. Then, like, you spend months upon months upon months of searching and then, THEN, you find out the first thing WAS, like, THE THING you were looking for?

i fucking suck at life
heaven
mywastedemotion

you ever have those days?


really
heaven
mywastedemotion

All of a sudden it's what I'm NOT doing that matters more.


And just like that...
heaven
mywastedemotion

my.obsession.is.over.


hate it
heaven
mywastedemotion

i could really be a bitch and fuck with someone's life.


We only see what you want us to see...
heaven
mywastedemotion

keep it in mind to reason away.
days of doing nothing
to think up something to say.

 

 

 


Twitter celebrity
heaven
mywastedemotion
You're just another perpetual dumb fuck - shallowed by followers, defined by retweets.

Today...
heaven
mywastedemotion

my theory was just blown out of the water.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.


A note to me...only me
Souxie says...
mywastedemotion

fuck.off.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.


onward upward inside me and twisted
jon/
mywastedemotion
Days between sheets,
Between them you and I.
The longer we stay the
Lighter we feel.
Nothing's real.

liquid
jon/
mywastedemotion
I just like the word.


Posted via m.livejournal.com.

Tags:

easier
jon/
mywastedemotion

If years between us didn't exist
And time stood still,
If all I had to do was submit,
Would you claim me as real
Or just imagined? 
Would my thoughts become your words
Or would my eyes become your windows?
Corrupted.
So fragile.
I Could Break You.

 


What makes me whole breaks my heart.
Souxie says...
mywastedemotion

Brought to bear the greatest love, I carry a burden and a blessing.

Scene: In Angel Square, Destiny stands in the middle of a thick fog. Behind her a familiar figure. She feels his presence, hears his voice. She can't see him, but he can see her. At first unaware of where she is, a sense of familiarity overcomes her, she smiles and starts to speak to the air in front of her. The presences follows her as she paces around.

Where is this going? No fucking clue.Collapse )

I miss them
jon/
mywastedemotion
I miss Panic at The Disco. The REAL P!ATD. Listening to AFYCSO on the way to work this morning. Man that album was way ahead of its time.

This weekend I went t see the "Smurfs" and heard the first single off their new album during the closing credits. Its killer. Man, if Ryan and Jon were back in...

Where's the campaign to get them back together????????????

I just miss them. So much.

Today was my last day
jon/
mywastedemotion

Last day at my job today.

Not sure how I feel about it.

At this point I should be super excited. A new adventure! Still I'm conflicted. 

Its all said and done. No going back, as my boss said to me when I left. 

I knew what he meant. He knows only part of the reason why I'm leaving. 

Truth be told I felt unappreciated. taken advantage of, I hated working with one particular person, I hated that my manager was leaving for the whole month of July and that I couldn't take time off. I hated being an assistant. I hated having to be at work at 8:00 am and that I couldn't see my daughter before she went to school. I hated having 1/2 hour for lunch. I hated the money I was making. 

Okay, saying those things makes me glad that I left.



took forever, but...
jon/
mywastedemotion
I finally cleaned this place out.

a hollow saddness
jon/
mywastedemotion
its shitCollapse )

the walls are starting to crumble
jon/
mywastedemotion
so now that Obama has his agenda on the table for all to see, the poorest Americans better hope and pray that the rich don't stop contributing to the charities that also support them. remember, they'll have less money to dole out to you if in fact the government is taxing them more in order to provide universal health care. why punish those that are already contributing more than 80% of country's tax revenues already? maybe they won't feel like contributing to charities anymore, since the government seems to think it can take their money and redistribute it to the poor better than organizations that have been doing it for years. but then again, the poor have been growing in numbers as the rich continue to get richer. i'm not sure why. like i'm not sure why the wealthiest towns in Massachusetts based on per capita income are seeing an increase home sales and home values, while the poorest towns are seeing declining populations.

joy behar is a hobag bitch
jon/
mywastedemotion

Bitch has her own show...wtf???Collapse )

this is for you
jon/
mywastedemotion
story idea...Collapse )

Hope. Change. More of the Same
jon/
mywastedemotion

yeah, i do feel bad for sarah palin...Collapse )



the second star to the right
jon/
mywastedemotion
i'll trace a heart upon your palm
and whisper the words i love you.
never to forget and void of regrets,
magic moments happen. they do.

nothing special
jon/
mywastedemotion
more garbageCollapse )

 

pretending but not really
jon/
mywastedemotion

i have this picture in my head that you'll grab me by the hair and smash my face into the dashboard. 


stupidity pisses me off
jon/
mywastedemotion

warning: this is going to get political


nothing special
jon/
mywastedemotion
there's a way out, you know.
it's alright, just let it go.
walk on the road to never,
once more into forever. 
i'll meet you half way
with no words left say.
only smile. will you do that for me?
let us pretend for once we are free.
Tags:

i so get it now
Souxie says...
mywastedemotion
i so get it now. 
no need to explain. 
just know that i know 
and it's all gonna change. 
i know what you're thinking, 
so you don't have to talk. 
let's end it now, 
'cause i don't give a fuck.

i tortured myself.
i'm the one to blame.
i let my heart bleed, 
while you licked the stains.
no, you don't care,
you never gave a shit.
should've seen it before
you stupid fucking bitch!

it took me this long
now here's my last goodbye.
i'm finally listening to
the screams in my mind.
my head knew reason, 
while my heart was blind. 
the veil's been lifted.
there's no more time. 

Stripped of feeling, 
and memories cleaned;
it's all done - 
you don't exist to me.
noise gave up your lies,
silence called your bluff.   
so this is me ending us now
and i don't give a fuck!!
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